COMMUNICATION II
doc. PhDr. Martina Rašticová, Ph.D.
The course
MPV_COMA Communication and Managerial Skills
Training
Brno, March 14, 2014
SCHEDULE OF LECTURE 14 OF MARCH,
2014
9:20 – 10:40 part I Presentation skills
Form and content of presentation
Presentations and feedback
10:40 – 11:00 break
11:00 – 12:45 part II Assertiveness
Assertive, aggressive, passive behaviour
Assertive techniques
Training
Communication types – interpersonal behaviour
ASSERTIVENESS
In Latin assere menas claim, affirm, emphasize,
declare
Self-conident, be responsible for myself, respect
the others, listen to them, cooperate with them
Assertiveness is often linked to self-esteem.
In some situations: to be able to say NO, resist the
pressure
Mostly, understand others, cooperate, find the
consensus
ASSERTIVENESS
is the quality of being self-assured and confident
without being aggressive.
In the field of psychology and psychotherapy, it is a
learnable skill and mode of communication.
passive behaviour: sometimes the way we react and
respond to others can make us feel inadequate, guilty
or regretful.
aggressive behaviour: we may also feel angry and
critical of others during conversations.
assertive behaviour: is expressing your thoughts,
emotions, beliefs and opinions in an honest and
appropriate way.
Assertiveness and Rights
Assertiveness can be described as a way to balance the rights of the two parties
involved.
More
Importance
Less
Yours
Rights
Theirs
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Zdroj: http://www.alchemyformanagers.co.uk/topics/U7FcjfSSxK3jHuCS.html
FOR EXAMPLE…
Aggressive
you exert your right to have ideas and opinions at the
expense of the other person’s rights. In fact you behave as if
the other person’s rights don’t matter.
Assertive
you exert your rights freely, but at the same time recognise
the other person’s rights to be heard, to have pride in what
they do, etc.
Non-Assertive
you take too much account of the other person’s rights, to the
extent that you forego some or all of your rights to express
ideas or influence events.
.
FOR EXAMPLE…
Aggressive
• “I don’t know how you’ve got the nerve to give me this sort of
stuff for signing. It’s full of mistakes.”
Assertive
“Jane, I’d like you to re-do this document as there are several
mistakes in it.”
Non-Assertive
“I know it’s er….probably my fault in…. not writing very
clearly, but is there, um….any chance at all you could find a
spare minute to um….just change one or two small things on
this letter for me?” Or you find an excuse not to take the
document back at all.
WHAT DRIVES THESE BEHAVIOURS
Inner Dialogues can affect the way we respond, for
example:
Aggressive “If people produce rubbish, I have every
right to tell them so”. “She obviously doesn’t care.
That’s typical of young people today.” “This reflects
badly on me, and I won’t stand for it.”
Assertive “This may be uncomfortable for us both, but
we can handle it.” “She has the right to make mistakes,
but the responsibility to correct them.” “I want her to
know the effect her errors have on other people.”
Non-Assertive “I don’t want to make a scene or upset
our working relationship.” “I’m sure these are
unintentional errors – I’ll let it go this time.” “I know she’s
very busy, so I expect that’s why these mistakes
happened.”
Being aware of these Inner Dialogues can help us
consider our response and adjust behaviour to be
assertive!
ASSERTIVE PEOPLE
feel free to express their feelings, thoughts, and desires;
are also able to initiate and maintain comfortable
relationships with other people;
know their rights;
have control over their anger. This does not mean that they
repress this feeling; it means that they control anger and
talk about it in a reasoning manner;
are willing to compromise with others, rather than always
wanting their own way ... and tend to have good self-
esteem;
enter friendships from an 'I count my needs. I count your
needs' position".
ASSERTIVE TECHNIQUES I
Fogging
Fogging is a useful technique if people are behaving in a
manipulative or aggressive way.
Fogging is so termed because the individual acts like a
'wall of fog' into which arguments are thrown, but not
returned.
involves agreeing with any truth that may be contained
within statements, even if critical. By not responding in the
expected way, in other words by being defensive or
argumentative, the other person will cease confrontation as
the desired effect is not being achieved.
Find more at: http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ps/assertiveness-
techniques.html#ixzz2vpzAfket
FOGGING
Example Situation
“What time do you call this? You're nearly half an hour
late, I'm fed up with you letting me down all the time.”
Fogging response:
“Yes, I am later than I hoped to be and I can see this
has annoyed you.”
“Annoyed? Of course I'm annoyed, this has left me
waiting for ages. You really should try to think about
other people a bit more.”
Fogging response:
“Yes, I was concerned that you would be left waiting
for almost half an hour.”
“Well... why were you late?”
ASSERTIVE TECHNIQUES II
The Stuck Record Technique
employs the key assertive skill of 'calm persistence.
It involves repeating what you want, time and time
again, without raising the tone of your voice, becoming
angry, irritated, or involved in side issues.
THE STUCK RECORD TECHNIQUE
Example Situation
Imagine that you are returning something that is faulty to a
store. The conversation may go as follows.
“I bought these shoes last week and the heels have fallen
off. I would like a refund please.”
“It looks like they've been worn a lot and these shoes were
only designed for occasional wear.”
Stuck Record technique response:
“I have only had them a week and they are faulty. I would
like a refund please.”
“You cannot expect me to give you your money back after
you've worn them out.”
Stuck Record technique response:
“The heels have fallen off after only a week and I would
like a refund please.”
ASSERTIVE TECHNIQUES III
Positive enquiry is a simple technique for
handling positive comments such as praise and
compliments.
People often struggle with responding to praise and
compliments, especially those with lower selfesteem
as they may feel inadequate or that the
positive comments are not justified.
Positive enquiry is used to find out more details
about the compliment or praise given, and
agree with it.
POSITIVE ENQUIRY
Example Situation
Sender:
“You made an excellent meal tonight, it was delicious!”
Receiver:
“Thanks. Yes, it was good. What did you like about it in
particular?”
This is different from a passive response that may have
been:
"It was no effort" or "It was just a standard recipe"
ASSERTIVE TECHNIQUES IV
Negative Enquiry
The opposite of positive enquiry is negative
enquiry.
Negative enquiry is a way to respond to more
negative exchanges such as receiving criticism.
Negative enquiry is used to find out more about
critical comments and is a good alternative to more
aggressive or angry responses to criticism.
NEGATIVE ENQUIRY
Example Situation
Sender:
“That meal was practically inedible, I can't
remember the last time I ate something so awful”
Receiver:
“It wasn't the best, exactly what didn’t you like about
it?”
This is different from an aggressive response that
may have been:
"How dare you, I spent all afternoon preparing that
meal" or "Well that's the last time I cook for you"
WHY İS İT DİFFİCULT TO SAY NO?
If I say no,they may feel hurt or injected
If I say no this time, they may not like me anymore
If I say no this time,they may never ask again
They won’t take any notice if I say no
They would say ‘yes’ to me (and so I will feel guilty
if I refuse them)
I can’t say no, because I feel sorry for them
HOW TO SAY „NO“ ASSERTIVELY
Start your reply with a clear ,firm,audible ‘no’.
Do not justify or make excuses. Giving a reason is
different from over-appologizing.
Feel that you have a right to say no.
Once you have said ‘no’ , do not stay around
waiting to be persuaded to change your mind. Make
a definite closure by changing the subject,walking
away, continiuing with what you are doing-whatever
is appropriate.
HOW TO SAY „NO“ ASSERTIVELY
CONTINUES
Remember you are saying ‘no’ to that particular
request,not rejecting the person.
If the request takes you unawares or you have not
sufficent time to think when asked,you can always
say, ‘I will let you know’ in order to give yourself
time to think about what you want to say.
Take responsibility for saying no-do not blame the
other person for asking you.
Ask for more information if you need it in order to
decide whether you want to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
WHY IS IT DIFFICULT TO SAY „YES“
I don’t deserve it.
They might not really mean it.
I am not really sure that is what I want.
I don’t have enough information.
HOW TO SAY „YES“ ASSERTİVELY
Say ‘yes’ clearly and definitely.
Identify why you would find it difficult.
Examine thoughts realistically and ask yourself.
Having calarified thughts for yourself then reaffirm
your desire to say ‘yes’.
IN WHAT SITUATIONS DO YOU FIND
IT DIFFICULT TO ASSERT
YOURSELF?
Exercise:
In groups of 3 or 4, identify one situation each in
which you find it difficult to assert yourself?
• What gets in your way?
• How do you feel?
• How does the other person react?
• Choose, and be prepared to share an example from
your group
What Are the Benefits of Behaving
Assertively?
TEST YOURSELF
http://psychologytoday.tests.psychtests.com/take_t
est.php?idRegTest=3195
Be assertive, change your thinking
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XI5XBKZZBIc
Tips for being assertive
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubSL1tFmgDc
Training videos good!:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kW6_U4e5DVI&list=P
L1ACDDEFDD444060B
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVF2bg_BMqk
Good web page:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/assertiveness
THE INTERPERSONAL CIRCUMPLEX
THEORY AND MODEL
model for conceptualizing, organizing, and
assessing interpersonal behavior, traits, and
motives (Wiggins, 2003),
was initially inspired by Harry Stack Sullivan (1953)
and later realized as a model by Timothy Leary
(1957).
These theories suggest that we can understand
people's personality in social situations by using
only two basic personality trait dimensions. The two
traits can have many names depending on the
specific theory but here we will conceptualize them
as agency and communion.
INTERPERSONAL CIRCUMPLEX
MODEL
Source: http://webspace.ship.edu/tosato/interpc.htm
INTERPERSONAL CIRCUMPLEX
Group perception and stereotypes
agency/male dimension vs communion/female dimension
(Abele, 2003; Abele, Wojciszke, 2007; Eagly, 1987; Spence,
Helmreich, Stapp, 1974)
warmth vs competence
(Fiske et. al., 2006; Glick, Fiske, 2001)
the intention & the ability to act
liking & respecting
Warmth judgments are primary
STEREOTYPE CONTENT MODEL
OF SUSAN FISKE
BEHAVIORAL CONSEQUENCES
SOURCES REGARDING
COMMUNICATION
Burgoon, J.K., Buller, D.B., Woodall, W.G. (1989):
Nonverbal Communication: The Unspoken Dialogue.
New York: Harper and Row.
DeVito, J.A. (1993): Essentials of Human
Communication. Harper Collins College Publ. ISBN 0-
06-500454-X.
Hayes, N. (1998): Psychology. An Introductory text.
Thomas Nelson and Sons. ISBN 0-17-490056-2.
Heath, R.L., Bryant, J. (2000): Human Communication.
Theory and Research: Concepts, Context, Challenges.
Lawrence Erlbaum. ISBN 0805830081
Munter, M. (2006): Guide to Managerial Communication.
Pearson Education. ISBN 0131467042
SOURCES REGARDING THE
INTERPERSONAL CIRCUMPLEX THEORY
AND MODEL
Fiske, S.T., Cuddy, A.J.C., Glick, P., Xu,J. A model of (often mixed) stereotype
content: Competence and warmth respectively follow from the perceived status
and competition. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2002, č. 82, s. 878-
902.
Fiske, S.T., Cuddy, A.J.C., Glick, P. Universal dimension of social cognition:
warmth and kompetence. Trends in Cognitive Science, 2006, roč. 11, č.2, s. 77-83.
Leary, T. (1957). Interpersonal diagnosis of personality. New York: Ronald.
Mead, G. H. (1934). Mind, self and society. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.
Marcus, H.R., Kitayama, S. Culture and the self: Implications for cognition,
emotion, and motivation. Psychological Review, 1991, č. 98, s. 224-253.
Pardone, T., Bales, R. Family, socialization, and interaction processes. Glencoe,
Scotland: Free Press, 1955.
Pryor, F.I. The Future of U.S. Capitalism. Cambridge University Press, 2002.
Pulhaus, D.L., John, O.P. Egoistic and moralistic bias in self-perception: The
interplay of self-depictive styles with basic traits and motives. Journal of
Personality, 1998, č. 66, s. 1025-1060.
SOURCES CONTINUE
Rašticová, M. Potkáme-li cizince: Jak vnímáme druhého člověka? Psychologie
dnes, 2009, č. 10, s. 54-55.
Rosenberg, S., Nelson, C., Vivekananthan, P. A multidimensional approach to the
structure of personality impressions. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,
1968, č. 9, s. 283-294.
Sullivan, H. S. (1953). The interpersonal theory of psychiatry. New York: Norton.
Terman, L.M., Miles, C.C. Sex and personality. New York: McGraw Hill, 1936.
Triandis, H.C. Individualism and collectivism. Boulder, CO: Westview Press, 1995.
Wiggins, J. S. (1982). Circumplex models of interpersonal behavior in clinical
psychology. In P. C. Kendall & J. N. Butcher (Eds.), Handbook of research
methods in clinical psychology (pp. 183-221). New York: Wiley.
Wiggins, J. S., Phillips, N., & Trapnell, P. (1989). Circular reasoning about
interpersonal behavior: Evidence concerning some untested assumptions
underlying diagnostic classification. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,
56, 296-305.
Wiggins, J. S., & Trobst, K. K. (1997). When is a circumplex an "interpersonal
circumplex"? The case of supportive actions. In R. Plutchik & H. R. Conte
(Eds.), Circumplex models of personality and emotions (pp. 57-80). Washington,
DC: American Psychological Assoication.
ELECTRONIC SOURCES
http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ps/assertiveness-
techniques.html#ixzz2vpzAfket
http://webspace.ship.edu/tosato/interpc.htm
Business Communication
http://stu.westga.edu/~ahinson1/abed6107/busines
s_comm_index.htm
and more were presented during communication
Thanks for your attention.
rasticova@fbm.vutbr.cz