VB037/13
Justin Zobel. Writing for Computer Science: The Art of Effective Communication. Singapore: Springer, 2000.
Joseph M. Williams and Joseph Bizup. Style: Lessons in Clarity and Grace. 11th ed. New Jersey: Pearson, 2014.
Run-on Sentences
A run-on sentence occurs when two independent thoughts (which could stand alone as separate sentences) are put
together without proper punctuation.
Example: He often watched TV when there were only reruns, she preferred to read instead.
There are three main ways to fix a run-on sentence:
1) Split the two independent thoughts into two different sentences with a period in between.
He often watched TV when there were only reruns. She preferred to read instead.
2) Add a comma and/or a conjunction such (and, but, yet, whereas…).
He often watched TV when there were only reruns, whereas she preferred to read.
3) Add a semicolon.
He often watched TV when there were only reruns; she preferred to read instead.
Exercise 1: Revise the following run-on sentences.
1) Sometimes you can understand the songs even if you do not know the words, they just fit some moment perfectly
so you can derive their meaning.
2) I am not saying it is easy to get into the right mood to enjoy the music of the band Swans, some people may never
get into it, for others it may take more than one listening.
3) But still it has one drawback, users can freely download the shared information.
4) All passwords are hidden to everyone, they are hashed and stored safely in the database.
Common Issues in Computer Science
A) Effective order of information – old before new
- Readers prefer to read old information first and only then go to new information. This way it is easier for
them to understand what you are trying to say.
- This works not only in individual sentences but also in paragraphs as a whole
- If you begin with the new, it might be too confusing for the reader and you are risking that the reader will be
bored by the old later in the text
VB037/13
Justin Zobel. Writing for Computer Science: The Art of Effective Communication. Singapore: Springer, 2000.
Joseph M. Williams and Joseph Bizup. Style: Lessons in Clarity and Grace. 11th ed. New Jersey: Pearson, 2014.
How to calculate credits for classes taken in community colleges is another issue that we must consider.
VS
Another issue that we must consider is how to calculate credits for classes taken in a community college.
- If you make the beginning too complex, it can be difficult for the reader to understand what you are actually
trying to say.
A sociometric and actuarial analysis of Social Security revenues and disbursements for the last six decades to
determine changes in projecting deficits is the subject of this study.
VS.
In this study, we analyze Social Security’s revenues and disbursements for the last six decades, using sociometric and
actuarial criteria to determine changes in projecting deficits.
Exercise 2: Revise the following passage to improve the flow of information by putting the new information (in
bold) last in each sentence.
Two aims—the recovery of the American economy and the modernization of America into a military power—were
in the president’s mind when he assumed his office. The drop in unemployment figures and inflation, and the
increase in the GNP testifies to his success in the first. But our increased involvement in international conflict
without any clear set of political goals indicates less success with the second. Nevertheless, increases in the
military budget and a good deal of saber rattling pleased the American voter.
Exercise 3: Look at the following two texts. Focus on the order in which the information is presented and rewrite
accordingly. The important information is in bold.
Competition by Asian companies with American companies in the Pacific is the first phase of this study. Labor costs
and the ability to introduce new products quickly in particular are examined. A plan that will show American
industry how to restructure its facilities will be developed from this study.
VB037/13
Justin Zobel. Writing for Computer Science: The Art of Effective Communication. Singapore: Springer, 2000.
Joseph M. Williams and Joseph Bizup. Style: Lessons in Clarity and Grace. 11th ed. New Jersey: Pearson, 2014.
A determination of involvement of lipid-linked saccharides in the assembly of oligosaccharide chains of ovalbumin
in vivo was the principal aim of this study. In vitro and in vivo studies utilizing oviduct membrane preparations and
oviduct slices and the antibiotic tunicamycin were undertaken to accomplish this.
B) Faked coherence
- Faked occurrence takes place when the author is unable to logically connect the text, and instead relies on using
linking phrases to create a fake sense of coherence.
Exercise 4: Look at the following text. Is there something wrong with it?
Because the press is the major medium of interaction between the president and the people, how it portrays him
influences his popularity. Therefore, it should report on the president objectively. Both reporters and the president
are human, however, subject to error and favoritism. Also, people act differently in public than they do in private.
Hence, to understand a person, it is important to know the whole person, his environment, upbringing, and
education. Indeed, from the correspondence with his family, we can learn much about Harry S. Truman, our thirtythird
president.
C) Needless Complexity
- Complex ideas require simple writing!
Exercise 5: The following texts are too complex. Change accordingly.
And, therefore, it is important to note that, in Eastern states since 1980, acid rain had become a serious problem.
Some people are predicting, because of the length of Internet calls and the amount of bandwidth the calls take, that
one day in the not so distant future, the entire telephone network, or at least a great portion of it, will cease to
function, and all telephone calls will fail to connect. This idea is referred to by some as the “Gridlock Theory.” Others
advise that steps can be taken to avoid such a disaster, such as upgrading telephone lines and limiting Internet use.
D) Ambiguity
- Make sure the reader understands what you are trying to say. Compare the following sentence with the
rewrite:
The compiler did not accept the program because it contained errors.
- The program did not compile because it contained errors.
VB037/13
Justin Zobel. Writing for Computer Science: The Art of Effective Communication. Singapore: Springer, 2000.
Joseph M. Williams and Joseph Bizup. Style: Lessons in Clarity and Grace. 11th ed. New Jersey: Pearson, 2014.
Exercise 6: Rewrite the following sentences to avoid ambiguity.
There is a new version of the operating system, so when using the “fetch” utility, the error messages can be ignored.
In addition to skiplists we have also tried trees. They are superior because they are slow in some circumstances but
have lower asymptotic cost.
Additional memory can lead to faster response, but user surveys have indicated that it is not required.
E) Lack of clarity
- Sometimes you know your material so well that you forget to make it clear for the reader.
- The problem may be in ambiguous wording or lack of additional information.
- Do not be afraid to split a statement into multiple sentences.
Exercise 7: Rewrite the following so that it becomes clearer and more elegant.
The results show that, for the given data, less memory is likely to be required by the new structure, depending on
the magnitude of the numbers to be stored and the access pattern.
In the first stage, the backtracking tokenizer with a two-element retry buffer, errors, including illegal adjacencies as
well as unrecognized tokens, are stored on an error stack for collation in a complete report.
Exercise 8: Go through the following sentences and focus on the issue covered during the semester (e.g. linking
expressions, active/passive voice, or simplifying text). Identify the issues and rewrite the sentences.
However, different tracking technologies can be used. Other tracking technologies frequently used in the field are
accelerometers, GPS, gyroscopes, or wireless sensors.
The simplest approach, however is the use of logs to identify the identity of users.
One server runs, together with AlphaPhi database, a BetaDelta database storing data shown in figure 1.8.
VB037/13
Justin Zobel. Writing for Computer Science: The Art of Effective Communication. Singapore: Springer, 2000.
Joseph M. Williams and Joseph Bizup. Style: Lessons in Clarity and Grace. 11th ed. New Jersey: Pearson, 2014.
In the application, there is implemented the administration part for organizers as a plugin and it is written in the
same technologies as the main application itself.
The light captured in the camera in such environment is altered by the environment and the produced image is
different than the real radiance of the scene.