Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to you to complain of the poor service I received from your company on November, 2016.
I gave my notebook to a representative of Repair-Me company, Mr. Johnson, in his office on Elm
Street.[---1]

I was waiting [---2] for Mr. Johnson one [---3] hour in office and there was no sign of apology
when he arrived. Your representative was not properly clothed. His shoes were dirty and he smelled
awful. Mr. Johnson then proceeded to ensure me my [---4] notebook is in good hands and your company
and himself personally will solve all problems [---5] I had.
I gave him my original box with bills, guarantee documents and my notebook charger. I signed the
contract and left my notebook with all accessories there.


I was annoyed after fourth call to Mr. Johnson.[---6]  [---7] He was always making excuses why my
notebook is still not repaired, and how he had to book the motherboard from China to get my
notebook fixed. I wasted a month waiting for Mr. Johnson to call me just to tell me he is not able
to repair my notebook. He said he would send it to my current address. I agreed. On my surprise the
notebook came in some cartoon box not similar to [---8] one I gave him and even [---9] without
charger. When I called back he said he was sorry but they could not find my original box.
My impression of Repair-Me Company has been tarnished. Furthermore, Mr. Johnson's inability to
repair my notebook and return all my equipment I gave him has [---10] meant that I had had
[---11] to use lent notebook for month[---12] , which had cost me a lot of money, and after that I
[---13] had to book [---14] a new charger because I cannot tell if [---15] Mr. Johnson will find
mine.

I trust [---16] this is not the way Repair-Me Company wishes to conduct business with valued
customers — I have heard about you from my friends and from reviews but this was not at all what I
was expected[---17] . I would welcome the opportunity [---18] to discuss matters and options for
compensation [---19] further [---20] and to learn of how you propose to prevent a similar situation
from recurring[---21] . I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,


Mr. Smith

[---22]


________________________________

 [---1] [---1]This sentence seems too detailed to be in a first paragraph, also you say you gave
the notebook to Mr. Johnson, and then you go back in time and describe how you were waiting for
him. Let’s just say you decided to use their services (and what was the problem), and that you went
to see Mr. Johnson.


 [---2] [---2]The “no sign on apology” part didn’t happen WHILE you were waiting there, but after,
so I would use “I had to wait” or “I waited”


 [---3] [---3]In HIS office/THE office FOR one hour


 [---4] [---4]ensure me THAT my notebook – not necessary but I think the sentence would look better


 [---5] [---5]all THE problems I’ve been having, also I would add “with it”, this is very general


 [---6] [---6]


 [---7] [---7]Sounds better: After THE fourth call to Mr.Johnson I became annoyed.  Also, I would
use “he KEPT making excuses”.


 [---8] [---8]“different from the one I gave him” – you didn’t expect to receive a similar box, but
the exact one you left there


 [---9] [---9]Even without charger seems quite informal to me, I would use something like “in
addition to all of that, it came without my charger”


 [---10] [---10]mean is not a verb I would use with present perfect, use past simple instead


 [---11] [---11]I have had


 [---12] [---12]for A month


 [---13] [---13]after all of that


 [---14] [---14]you can book a service, not a product (as far as I know), probably just use “buy”


 [---15] [---15]wrong use of IF, use whether instead


 [---16] [---16]I believe. You can trust somebody, not trust that something will happen.


 [---17] [---17]I have expected/I have been expecting. Also with was/were, it should be expectING


 [---18] [---18]I would like to have the opportunity


 [---19] [---19]compensation possibilities is a better term


 [---20] [---20]so far you didn’t talk about the compensation, so you can’t discuss it “further”


 [---21] [---21]this sentence is too complicated, also “learn of” is wrong. Try it more simple:
…and to talk to you about how to prevent a similar situation from recurring/happening in future.


 [---22] [---22]Your letter has 375 words! The allowed range was 120-150.