in working with children and families
to recall the experience of being a child and to relate that to the
to get children to talk or express themselves and ability to feel
ortable in the presence of children and to havethem feel comfortable
hing and training it is customary to divide the requirements needed
ertalce a particular kind of work into knowledge requirements, slulls
ements and value (or attitude) requirements. This chapter deals with
s requirements. Knowledge is a matter of what a person needs to lznow
Určeno pouze pro studijní účely
in order to do the work; values or attitudes refer to how the person needs
you will not be a skilled practitioner, but you will have an idea of what s
need to be mastered and how you might begin to acquire these skills.
A good starting point is the principles contained in the new governmen
guidance on assessment (Department of Health et al., 2000, p. 10). Thes
principles describe assessment, but they can be seen as underlying th
entire process of intervention. The principles require that assessments
e are child centred;
e are rooted in child development;
e are ecological in their approach;
0 ensure equality of opportunity;
e involve worlung with children and families;
e build on strengths as well as identifying difficulties;
0 are inter-agency in their approach to assessment and the provision of
services;
e are a continuing process, not a single event;
e are carried out in parallel with other action and provision of services;and
e are grounded in evidence-based knowledge.
The skill is to apply these principles to children in a variety of different
situations. The children you work with may be in the 'looked after' system.
They may be children in need living with their families in the community.
They may be abused children. They may be children being laced for adop-
tion. Despite the children's different situations, many of the slulls you will
need to work with them are the same. This chapter will deal first with shIIs
needed to work with children, and then consider skills needed to work with
families. Obviously these two sets of skills are not mutually exclusive and
there will be some overlap.
Skills neededto work with children ability to maintain clarity of focus;
ability to recall the experience of being a child and to relate that to the
Any work with a child must be based on a very thorough understanding of
children's development and of the needs of the articular child bein ability to get children to talk or express themselves;
worked with. The child's needs will be identified through an assessment ability to feel comfortable in the presence of children and to have them
the child's situation (and remember that an assessment is a continuing feel comfortable with you;
process not a single event, as indicated in the ~ r i n c i ~ l e slisted above). Then ability to facilitate children's play;
the needs must be addressed through specific activities related to speci ability to decentre from an adult perspective to engage the child;
goals, and the degree of success in meeting the needs must be evaluat ability to continue working uninterrupted despite the emergence of
both on an ongoing basis and at the end of the work. ainful and disturbing material;
Určeno pouze pro studijní účely
56 An introductionto working with children
0 ability to respond to the different vocabulary, idioms, and expressions of
children;
o ability to be the diplomat.
to the child as well. If she erroneously believes that he has the same
Ability to maintain clarity of focus
There are a number of reasons for undertaking work with children, and i
important to be absolutely clear about what the reason is. Is it to assess t
child? Is it to enable the child to express a view? Is it therapeutic? Is it a to recallthe experience of beinga child and to
mixture of these? Unfortunately, these reasons are not always separate and that to the work in hand
distinct. Assessment is an ongoing process, continually modified on the of us cannot recall what it was like to be a child. Certainly we may
basis of work done with the child. It may well influence and be influenced memories of things that have happened to us. We may create a syn-
by therapeutic intervention, each informing the other as the process s between what we recall, what we think we recall, and what others
unfolds. To talce another example, advocacy work undertaken with a young told us, and call it 'memory', but the real sense of being a child is for
person for the purpose of enabling him to express views about being looked
after, may well act therapeutically by giving him a strong sense of ~ersonal
validation, even if the process is not one that is explicitly intended to be
therapeutic. But it would be an unwise advocate who confused her role and
began trying to use advocacywork to achieve therapeutic objectives.
Advocacy for children is a field of work that has only seriously begun to
develop since the implementation of the Children Act 1989 with its very
heavy emphasis on the voice of the child. An advocate's primary objective is
to express the words of the child; and, indeed, one might view the role of
an advocate as having parallels with the role of a translator. The role of the onceivable, scandalous, painful. Not uncommonly, it is monstrous.
translator is to aim for the most accurate possible translation across the two
languages, without any embellishment or modification, no matter what the
translator himself thinlts. If the client says something that might be mis-
construed, or which, when translated, may go against the client's interests,
that is not a matter for the translator.
In advocating for a child, the role of the advocate is to ~rovideinforma- iller is not tallung about the distorted, disturbed and disrupted child-
tion to the child and to convey the child's views to those who are charged of the abused child, but the powerful emotions behind the ordinary
with the responsibility for making decisions concerning the child. It is the ringing of the ordinary child in not unusual circumstances. While work-
child's rights and views that are promoted through advocacy, not his or her with a child who has experienced abuse, the worker may well be con-
welfare. Rights and views may be in conflict with welfare. The most obvi-
ous example is where a child wishes to return to live with a father who has e worlcer does not try to resolve her own problems through the w o k
sexually abused her. She may feel that the disclosure and the open lnowl-
edge will be enough to protect her. Professionals may feel concerned that
she will continue to be at risk. Here we have a situation of ~otentialcon-
flict between the professionals and the advocate: the professionals may feel
that the advocate does not appreciate the harm to the child if she returns vinced that she has worked through her own experience, she will not
home, and is not acting in a way that will promote the child's welfare. It is sciously use her client to benefit herself but, nevertheless, the child's
then the advocate's task to clarify for the professionals the distinction
Určeno pouze pro studijní účely
58 An introductionto working with children
to get children to talk or express themselves and
as she had thought. Supenision and self-awareness on the worker's part
to feel comfortable in the presenceof children and
both vital to ensure that this potential difficulty is kept in check.
ve them feel comfortable with you
A second, perhaps less emotionally laden barrier to recalling the expe
ence of being a child is simply the vast distance between the developm
tal stage of the young child and the developmental sophistication of whatever comes into their heads ('Mummy, how come that man only
adult. The language and thought of the adult are different from the la
guage and thought of the very young child. For infants (for example, tho
in the Piagetian sensorimotor stage of development), the world is an expe ren are noisy and frequently destructive. They say the wrong things,
ence of fleeting images and impressions which may exist briefly in time and the wrong times, and demand allnost unceasing attention.
space. Trying to recall such experiences is similar to trying to translate the work effectivelywith children the worker must be comfortable around
stream of consciousness of James Joyce's Ulysses into a more prosaic, struc- en. If this does not sound like you, then you may need to evaluate
tured and gammatical form of text. Even the older child who has not yet soon whether this is the place for you. Comfort around children can be
developed the mental apparatus to handle concepts of object constancy (in ed (most parents learn it) but it may tale time, and involve a consider-
both space and time), may find abstract reasoning, logical thought and reci- amount of self-reflection. The worker needs to be secure enough in
procity in relationships very difficult. Helping the child to achieve an elf that he is not excessively when the child asks why he is
understanding of adult decisions, actions and concepts may be enormously
challenging. One of the very important examples here is the child's concep- te. To help the child to talk, he needs to relate to the child in a way
tion of time. Depending upon age, the 'here and now' can be a state that different from how other adults relate to children, and initially at least
will exist forever, and notions of 'tomorrow' or 'later' may be the equivalent ovelty of that approach may make the child curious, but in a cautious
of 'never'. Talking to the child in a way that encourages the child to express a
In this sense, it is useful to be reminded of the totality of experience in that says in effect that the child is worth talking to, and is an important
very young children. Loss is loss forever, of the other and of a large part of n in his or her own right, mai:be something the child is not used to.
the self. It is not a matter of '1'11 see you later', because for the very young
child there is no 'later' and the sense of 'I' and 'you' can still be largely as an equal, does seive to reduce the barriers to communication, but
undifferentiated. Anger, on the other hand, is a rage that destroys. The Iso something that may strike the child as odd, at least initially. After
experiences of hunger, frustration and pain are all extreme; they are not e, it may make the child more comfortable, and the child's level of
experienced as a temporaiy state that will get better, but rather as 'This is
what it will be like forever.' cause children tend to be more open in their expression of feelings, it
er for the worker to gauge a child's comfort level than it would be
st cautious, will keep a safe physical distance. They will only approach
other indicator is the extent to which the child engages in, or
the worker to engage in, dialogue or other types of interactions (e.g.,
play). The worler should be aware of eye contact and other body lan-
e here, always keeping in mind that the messages conveyed by body
h the child is able to stay 'on task' in terms of activity when the worker
esent. The child who is excessively anxious is unlikely to be able to
tinue to play or concentrate on the task in hand.
ACTIVITY
Q Consideryour first memory. To what extent is it your own recall?
To what extent is itthe recall of what others have told you?
Q Look aroundthe room you are in. Consider the sights and sounds
you experience. Then try to imagine how they would appear with-
out the continuity that locates them in time and space. Consider,
for example, how it might feel to close and open your eyes with
wonderment at seeingthe same things? Consider how the sounds
might be if you had no previous understanding (through experi-
ence) of the causes of those sounds.
Určeno pouze pro studijní účely
60 An introductionto working with children
Children, and in particular younger children, can be quite anxious about
people whose appearance is simply different. If they are not used to men er of the healing process than a prime mover. It is not the worker
with beards, then the mere fact of the worker having a beard may make eals the child; the child heals herself, but the worker provides the
them wary. Similarly, they may be anxious about an unfamiliar slun colour
or any physical peculiarity. Certainly, in time, they will come to adjust (or
to use a Piagetian concept, the child will come to accommodate eccentric e of the difficulties of worlung with children is that this is often seen
appearance as part of the way that adults appear), but not before they have
mentally struggled unsuccessfully to assimilate it into their existing picture erapists all lay claim to the special slulls and knowledge that are
of the world. Some children adjust quickly, others take longer, and the
issue for the worker may well be how long he needs to wait for the child to ualifications may feel that she ought to leave well alone. It is useful
adjust. Patience will usually prevail but in the worst possible case it might make a distinction between play therapy, and direct work with chil-
be necessary to assign another worker. The bearded and rejected worker sing play as a medium. Child-welfare workers do not provide therapy
must then be sufficiently self-confident to accept that it was his beard that e sense that their primary goal is to reduce the child's trauma. Instead
was rejected and not himself. r role is to assess or monitor the child's situation in order to provide the
ropriate services. One such service may be to refer the child to a 'child
rt' so that therapy can be provided, but meanwhile the worker must
Ability to facilitate children'splay
municate with the child in order to find out what is needed. As with all
Play is an absolute prerequisite for work with young children. If a child ts, the worker will communicate in the way that is most likely to elicit
cannot play, she cannot be helped, and therefore, the first stage with a id response, and for a child that way is through play. After all, no
child who cannot play is to help her to learn how to play. From there th r would hesitate to try to communicate with an adult on the grounds
work can begin. There are three fundamental ~rinciplesunderlying usin psychiatrist is more qualified to do it. Engaging in play as a medium
i
play to work with children. First, play is the child's medium. The child feels minunication is therefore a perfectly legitimate occupation but engag-
comfortable with play. Playing with the child sends the message that the 'play therapy' is not.
adult values what the child does, and this message empowers the child. s a practical example of the difference between play as communication
Secondly, play, like other techniques, is a method of making the 'inner play as therapy, we might point to the interpretation of the significance
world' of the child external. It is a projective tool in that it tales what ' ommunications from the child. If a child draws a picture of a person
inside the child, puts it outside the child, and there allows it to be t out arms, a worker who is trying to communicate might well say, 'It's
focus of attention by the child and the worker. It acts as a screen upon to do things without arms. How does the person feel about that?' But
which the child is projecting herself. There is nothing the child can create same worker should steer clear of interpreting the drawing as a reflec-
in the context of play that is not a reflection of the child's inner self and of the child's internal sense of helplessness. That lund of interpretation
that inner self's relation to the world. The child who makes the bear eat up e province of the experts.
the little boy, demonstrates at the very least an awareness that there are e see here, again, the importance of clarity of focus. It is the coordina-
creatures called 'bears', that they can eat people (sometimes a little poetic of the efforts from different professionals that is the hallmark of effec-
licence needs to be allowed), and that children are vulnerable to dangers practice, but such coordination only works if each professional is clear
from other living creatures. The worker may be able to take the scenario ut her own role and purpose as distinct from the roles of other profa-
further, by aslung, 'How does that boy feel about being eaten by the bear?'
A third principle of play as a medium of worlung with children (and this
is particularly true in non-directive play approaches) is that it relies on an
to decentre from an adult perspectiveto engage the child
inner drive of the child to health and reparation. Given a supporting envi-
ronment that does not direct that certain things need to be done at certain ct work with children operates at the interface between the world of
times, the child will use the equipment available to address issues of signif- ren and the world of adults. We cannot expect children to be eager to
icance to herself - possibly as a way of learning to understand something to us about issues of concern to adults, even if they are also issues of
Určeno pouze pro studijní účely
62 An introductionto workingwith children
concern to the children themselves. For children, sitting down face to face feel that she has to justify the time spent with the child. From the
with an adult and talking about things that they have ~erhapsnot talked t of view of colleagues, she could be using that time to initiate other
about before is not an easy matter. The interview situation may be familiar ntions that might be seen as more useful, at least in the short term.
to the worker, but to the child it is artificial. It may require social slulls nal point to note about decentring from an adult perspective is the
(talung turns to talk, waiting until the speaker is finished, using eye contact nt to which the child is expected to share everything with the worker.
appropriately) that the child has not yet acquired. It may require cognitive child, or anyone else for that matter, can be compelled to share infor-
skills (for example, sustained concentration) that the child is still develop- n and we should allow the child the dignity of choosing what he
ing. It may require a level of self-denial (or endurance) that the child is not s to share. A more difficult decision for the worker is to what degree
yet ready for. Therefore, above all else, work with children must be under- should let the child know the consequences of sharing before the infor-
taken in a way that engages the child. It has to be appealing, it has to be on is shared. For example, if a child says that abuse has reoccurred the
comprehensible, it must be age appropriate, and it must be fun (or at least er must take steps to deal with that and a possible consequence may
not excessivelytedious). This is not to say that direct work techniques can- hat the child is constrained. If the worker points out the possibilities,
not be used to address painful material, but it should be the content that is child may conceal the information and his welfare may be jeopardised.
painful, not the process. e worker does not point out the possibilities, she has deceived the child
A very good example is ~rovidedby Bray (1991) who describes her work can address his welfare because she has the relevant information. On
as a social worker with Shaun, a child in a children's home. The work gets other hand, the child might not trust her ever again. With older chil-
off to a very unpromising start. Shaun is not around when she visits, en, the worker might decide to be open about the consequences, and
despite his knowing she was coming. When he arrives they sit opposite the child to make an informed and correct decision about what to
each other in green plastic chairs, and she proceeds to go through the e. But it is always a difficult situation, and with younger children it is
agenda she has mentally re pa red, telling Shaun about the threat of exclu-
sion from school, changes in his mother's circumstances, and the forthcorn--
ing meeting with his foster carers. Shaun says, 'Can I go now?' and the
social worker is left feeling angry and bemused at the lack of connection.
For Bray it was the beginning of thinking about how to approach work with
children in a different way, how to avoid adult-centred agendas in the
actual work with the child, and how to find a different medium for commu-
nication in which the child will be engaged. This is not easy and means
abandoning many preconceived notions about the importance of getting
answers from children about the questions adults want to ask. It means
that the worker must meet the child on his own terms, in his own place,
using his own language. And for younger children especially, this language
is the language of play.
The attitudes of colleagues can make this even more difficult than it is
already. It is obviously faster, even if less effective, to have the child talk to
the social worker in her place, on her terms, in her language. It is faster still
not to talk to the child at all, obtaining the needed information instead
from adults who think they are familiar with the child's situation. In a busy
social-services child and family team, where there may be great pressure to
allocate cases, taling a long time to work with a child, at the child's pace,
using methods which may seem slow and unfocused, is not likely to be
viewed with favour. Even though more experienced practitioners recognise
that direct work with the child is a necessity not a luxury, the worler may
ilityto continue working uni$errupted despite the
ergence of painfuland disturbingmaterial
e material that children disclose to worlers can be very painful and dis-
ssing. If the worler is to provide a useful senrice to the child, she must
t be thrown off course by the content of what is said. It is not unheard
, particularly in the early days of interventions with children who had
een sexually abused, for workers to require temporary breaks during the
ssions, for the purpose of regaining their composure.
We know from foster carers (Macaskill, 1991) that children frequently
not disclose all of the abuse that they have experienced at once. There is
pattern of disclosing physical abuse before disclosing abuse of a sexual
ture, and often there is a progressive unfolding of the extent of the sexual
use. Foster carers describe the process as one in which the child seems
test you out to see how much you can cope with. If you seem able to
pe with what you have been told without being shocked or thrown off
urse, then later the child may tell a little more. The implications of this
r the social worker are self-evident. She needs to be able to maintain
uanimity in the face of shoclung material. Training helps, and so does
e capacity for self-care. It may seem a truism to say that if you can't care
r yourself, you can't care for anyone else, but many social worlers lose
Určeno pouze pro studijní účely
64 An introductionto working with children
sight of themselves in other people's traumas, and losing sight of yourself is
a sure recipe for disaster. There is a large literature on burn-out, vicarious
traumatisation and post-traumatic stress disorder, which describes the con-
sequences of repeated exposure to traumatic experiences, both one's own
and other people's. There is not space here to go further into that, but the
importance of self-care cannot be over-stressed.
Ability to respondto the differentvocabulary, idioms, and
expressions of children
As already noted, the language of children is different from the language of
adults. One of the areas where this is particularly important is work with
abused children. For example, one of the exercises used in basic training to
enable people to understand sexual abuse and work with sexually abused
children is to brainstorm on the range of terms used to describe male geni-
talia, female genitalia, and various sexual acts. In part, this exercise is used
to desensitise people to the shock-value of the terms used (important in
connection with the previous section). I-Iowever, in part this exercise is
designed to familiarise trainees with the wide range of terminology so that
they will be familiar with euphemisms and idiosyncratic terms when chil-
dren use them.
In the same way, it is helpful to be familiar with slang expressions,
which can change almost overnight. A word of warning here though. It is
one thing to understand slang and quite another to attempt to use it.
Children feel patronised by adults who try to 'come down' to their level by
using their slang, and they have a very natural tendency to laugh when the
adult gets it wrong. It is more respectful to the child and more comfortable
for the worlter to use ordinary age-appropriate language, with words and
sentence structures that the child will easily understand.
Ability to be the diplomat
Children will frequently ask questions which the worker will find very diffi-
cult to answer. Why didn't my parents want me? Why was I the one to be
adopted when others in the family weren't? Why was it me my father
abused? These and other questions can present a dilemma for the worker -
not whether to tell the truth (lies are always coun~erproductive),but how
much of the truth to tell at the moment, and, most importantly, how to tell
it. The first step is to understand the question. The child who asks why his
parents didn't want him is not aslung for reasons why he couldn't live at
home. The real question behind all three of the questions above is, 'What is
wrong with me that ...?' Of course what the child who couldn't live at
e needs is personal validation. He needs to feel that despite appear-
es to the contrary, he is an individual with intrinsic worth and reasons
1good about himself.
e child who was adopted has the same need. One of the issues for an
ed child is why her parent(s) didn't love her enough to keep her.
egies for dealing with this frequently tend to emphasise the material
mstances surrounding the parents (they couldn't afford to keep you), or
g the child know that, although she was given up by one set of parents,
was especially selected by others. Both of these strategies have difficul-
The child may know other families living in poverty who do not give up
children. And it is all very well to be specially selected but if you
dn't been given up by your own parents in the first place - the people
o are supposed to love you -you wouldn't have been availablefor selection.
It is usually considered important, when faced with difficult questions
children, to present the information as factually as possible, being care-
to avoid any condemnation of the parents. However, one also has to be
eful not to go too far in the other direction, or the child may develop
asies about absent parent figures, or add to already existing fantasies.
ometimes the worker needs to convey 'bad news' to the child. For
mple, the parent no longer wishes to have contact with the child; a deci-
has been taken ~zotto return la child to his or her parents; the foster
rs can no longer look after the'child. Again, in these cases, the worlter
st not only deal honestly with conveying the information but must be
ciently skilful to convey the reason for the news in a way that makes
se to the child without being too hurtful. There is no formula that any
can provide to help you here: it is a matter of your own skull, your own
ement, your own human empathy with the child's situation.
Ils needed to work with families
have del~beratelyconsidered the skills of working with children first,
two reasons. One reason is to remind you that the prime reason for
ivention in the lives of children and families is to promote the welfare
he child. As stated by the Department of Health et al. (2000, p. 13):
Worlung with family members is not an end in itself; the objective must
always be to safeguard and promote the welfare of the child.
e other reason is to remind you that, as adults, workers often find it eas-
to communicate with other adults (the parents), and therefore it is a
ater challenge to find and develop the skills necessary to communicate
h children and enable them to communicate with you.
Určeno pouze pro studijní účely
Now we will consider some of the skills needed for working with the par-
ents and with the families as a whole. We will look at:
0 ability to work in partnership with parents;
0 ability to be honest and open even when the information you have t
share is unpleasant or ~ainful;
0 ability to communicate with adults;
0 ability to negotiate;
e ability to provide counselling, warmth, empathy, understanding;
0 ability to tolerate people's pain and anger;
o ability to work effectively with groups.
Ability to work in partnership with parents
rce the law regarding school attendance. These parents were also
d act as intermediaries between the family and the school, the police
he school, and the special and local schools. Parents felt in addition
temporary placement in a special school following difficulties in the
1 school could do more harm than good if gains were not maintained
good deal of concern was focused around the accommodation of chil-
Some parents confided that children were being returned home from
onsibility. The lesson here might be that reunification, though a worthy
Critics of the concept of partnership claim that even to maintain the only works when the groundwork has been thoroughly prepared and
ming is right. It is easy to assume that parents mourn the loss of their
an attempt to obscure the very real power differentials in the relations dren and want them back as quicldy as possible; and, for many, this is
Others however (for example, Tunnard and Ryan, 1991), maintain eed the case. Others, though, while not wanting to admit it in case they
seen as 'bad' parents, are thoroughly relieved that the rude, destructive,
in order to change practice. They note, for example, 'For us, partners11
mon goal' (p. 67). This can be illustrated in the process of assessme
ents work in partnership is based on the degree to which they can reach an nd all of this is an inherent part of the reunification process.
understanding about the common objectives of the social-work interventio
process, and the role that each should play in achieving those objectives.
The concept of partnership is integrated into many provisions of the A
of resentment was the benefits afforded to accommodated children
tion. The main partnership provisions of the Act relate to the requireme compared with non-accommodated siblings. Moreover, children
Určeno pouze pro studijní účely
68 An introductionto working with children
returning home after being accommodated tended to resent the loss of the Even in child-protection work, the trend has been towards increasing
benefits they had formerly enjoyed. Social workers here seem damned if rtnership, and one impact of this, as a result of the Children Act 1989, is
they do and damned if they don't. Providing for one seems to lead inevitably greater involvement of parents in child-protection conferences which
to jealousy on the part of the other, yet provision is required under the terms at issues of risk to their children. Whilst there have been real problems
of the Act, and resources do not allow for indiscriminate provision. It is per- the implementation of this practice, it is now generally accepted that
haps a case of viewing the needs of the child in the context of the needs of nts should participate in child-protection conferences. For some par-
the familyand ensuring that siblings and birth parents are not ignored. ,however, participation means little more than physical presence. It is
Finally, Colton et al. (1995a and 1995b) examined ~artnershipbetween for them to be intimidated by the authority figures at the table with
families and social-workagencies. Most parents did feel that they had partic- , difficult for them to argue, easy to feel at the end that they were no
ipated in decision-making, and two-thirds felt that social services had helped than a rubber stamp, called there to reinforce decisions already made.
them in bringing up their children, and they ~articularl~appreciated the pro- there is to be any real partnership, the impetus must come from workers
vision of emotional support. The partnership element most lacking between o genuinely desire the parents' input and have the ability to make the
agencies and families was the shaiing of information. Only 29 per cent of the rents feel comfortable and empowered in an alien setting.
children interviewed felt that their social workers had told them things they
needed to know, and only 13 per cent of parents felt that they knew enough
about the kinds of services available to help them (from other agencies as
lity to be honest and open even when the information you
well as social services). Social workers tended to ~rovidechildren only with
e to share is unpleasant or painful
the kind of information that seemed relevant and beneficial under the cir- arents are not always honest with social workers, particularly when there
cumstances, and withheld information which could potentially be damaging- e issues of abuse (Department of Health, 1991a; Reder et al., 1993),but
such as not telling a 16-year-old girl that she was entitled to leave her foster s important for social workers to be scrupulously honest in all their deal-
home to move in with her boyfriend. There are echoes here of the 'diplo- gs with parents. Sometimes this is difficult, particularly when sharing
matic' shlls needed to work with children discussed earlier, where the issue palatable decisions with the parents, such as the decision to hold a child-
was how much of the truth to tell and how to tell it. However one feels otection conference, the decision to place a child's name on the child-
about the social worker's action in this particular circumstance, Colton et al.'s otection register, the decision to withdraw, or not provide, financial
study did show that relying on social workers to ~rovideverbal information pport for a child to attend nursery (or indeed any family-support service),
did not work well overall. The authors' recommendations for more effective d of course, the decision to apply for a care order for the child to be
dissemination of information included the following: oved from the care of the parents. Sometimes other unpleasant informa-
0 Prepare information leaflets for parents, covering such common con- n needs to be shared w t h parents: you haven't been able to secure the
cerns as: hyperactivity; working without losing benefits; child support; rvice for the parent that you were attempting to get; you haven't been able
parent support groups; behaviour management; harassment by an ex- o do something very important for the parent that you had agreed to do.
partner; personal development programmes for men; entitlements when Like any unpleasant task, telling the parent this tends to be put off
leaving care; and so on. cause there is always something more important that you have to do right
0 Have social workers distribute the relevant leaflets (including leaflets W. Also, like any unpleasant task, it gets more difficult the longer it is
from or about voluntary agencies and community groups), providing elayed. Honesty with parents includes sharing information in a timely
additional verbal explanations where necessary. Such provision of writ- anner, using all the skills you possess to convey what you have to say in
ten material often helps to dispel parents' suspicions that information e least hurtful and most productive way.
about entitlements is being deliberately withheld.
0 Utilize other ways of disseminating information: for example, holding ility to communicate with adults
film shows and public meetings, or erecting information booths in ~ublic
places such as shopping centres. e have already discussed the slulls needed for worlung with children,
.Develop a multi-agency strategy on how information is to be ~roduced, d some of the slulls needed for working with adults are similar.
publicized and delivered. wever, whereas with children the major obstacles to cominunication are
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70 An introductionto working with children
developmental differences, with parents the obstacles are more likely to
stem from social class and cultural differences. One of the lessons one
learns very soon in practice is that there are ways and ways of saying the
same thing, and finding the right way is vitally important. A temptation
when one has to say something unpleasant is to lapse into jargon. Official-
sounding phrases that are usually incomprehensible to the parent can dis-
tance the worker from the whole proceedings, allowing her to believe that
she has said whatever it was without putting it into so many words.
Sometimes, the use of jargon is not intentional: it is just a matter of the
worker unconsciously trylng to increase her own comfort level by using lan-
guage that is familiar to herself. But jargon is only communication if it is
used as a convenient shorthand with other professionals who know what it
means. With parents, it is more often a process of exclusion: the worker is
essentially saying, 'I belong to a professional club and you don't.' It is very
important, therefore, to use only words that the parent will understand, tak-
ing into account the parent's cultural background and social class.
Social class is a delicate area. It is easy to pretend that social class does
not exist, that we are all equal as people and class distinction is something
that is better ignored. However, class distinction does exist. It is one of the
realities that affect all other aspects of client's lives, and to ignore it does
no-one a service. A worker might well be seen as hypocritical if she tries to
pretend to a client - whose awareness of the social hierarchy is probably
acute - that they are both on the same social level. Most often they are
not, and this is something that must be dealt with honestly, and without
patronising the client. Again, there are no formulae to help you here. It is
your own skills, your own personal qualities of warmth and empathy that
will count.
Another point to be aware of is that much of our communication with
each other is not verbal at all but comes through body language. If you are
assuring your client that her situation is immensely important to you whilst
backing towards the door, you are sending mixed messages, and the mes-
sage which will come across with most force is your desire to escape. Be
aware of your body language, and do your best to ensure that your tongue,
your eyes, your hands and your feet are all saylng the same things.
This is particularly important when you need to confront or challenge
people. Issues about non-compliance or disguised compliance (Reder et al.,
1993) must be addressed, not swept under the carpet, and they must be
addressed clearly so that there is no possibility of mistake. A good example
here is work with sexual abusers. The worker often needs to confront
abusers who deny what they have done or the extent of the abuse. If the
client has lied, the lie needs to be pointed out, but the focus of the worker's
remarks should be this particular lie, with no implication that the client is,
Working with children and families 71
eneral, a liar. This may seem a subtle distinction - a liar, after all, is a
on who lies -but it is very important to distinguish the person from the
A child who has done a bad thing must not be labelled as a bad child.
arly, a client who has lied must not be branded as a liar but is simply a
n who, in this particular instance, has told a lie.
ing willing to confront does pose certain risks for the worker, even if
with the utmost care and discretion. Even the most slcilful worker
at times trigger an extremely aggressive response, and it is a matter of
ent to be able to predict when a client might pose a personal dan-
there is a possible danger, it is not brave to confront it alone: it is just
lhardy. Take another worker with you or ask for the protection of the
ice. If you are alone when the situation arises, leave as rapidly as possi-
le. At all times, consider your personal safety first when dealing with
entially aggressive clients, remembering that you can't look after anyone
e if you can't look after yourself.
ty to negotiate
e of the very curious aspects of working with children and families is the
ccess of the family therapist. Almost any family therapist will tell you
at when families arrive, it is verygarely family therapy that they are look-
g for. They expect that their problem will be fixed, and the problem, in
eir eyes, is usually the family member who is causing all the trouble: the
r-old who will not go to school; the 13-year-oldwho stays out all night;
e 14-year-old who is involved with drugs. The other family members
ct that their role in the 'fixing' process will be to provide the therapist
the necessary information and possibly provide moral support to the
ne who is being fixed.
The first job of the family therapist, therefore, is to persuade the family
that it is the family system that needs to be addressed, not the behaviour of
the offending member. Perhaps this idea will be introduced gradually, but
if the therapist cannot negotiate with the family about what needs to be
done, nothing will be accomplished. The fact that something often is
accomplished says much for the negotiating skrlls of family therapists.
Other social workers too experience similar problems. We know from
research (see, for example, Mayer and Timms' classic work The Client
Spenlzs, 1970) that a mismatch between client and worlcer expectations
leads to poor outcomes. Perhaps the client expects material assistance
while the worker hopes to increase the client's ability to cope with the situ-
ation as it is. Unless the worker is able to negotiate with the client
what result can be expected from their work together, the worker will be
frustrated, the client disappointed, and nothing will be done.
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72 An introduction to working with children
Negotiation is a vital skill for social workers. They do not need to be
Henry Kissinger, but they do need to understand the importance of trying
to find ways out of an impasse that allow the other party dignity, and a feel-
ing of having achieved their goals. A very interesting story is told about two
sisters who both wanted the same orange. They could not agree over who
should have the orange and so, in a spirit of compromise, they cut the
orange in half and divided it equally. One sister then went home, squeezed
the juice from the orange and threw away the peel; the other went home,
used the peel in a cake she was baking, and threw away the rest. Although
the division was fair, had the sisters been able to negotiate the outcome
with reference to their needs, they would have both had twice as much.
The important phrase here is 'with reference to their needs'. When there
is conflict, it is vital in negotiation to identify clearly your own needs, inter-
ests and expectations and to help the other parties to identify theirs.
Sometimes, the conflict will turn out to be about means rather than ends,
and then the process can be addressed rather than the objectives. Even
when the conflict concerns the objectives, there may be some overlap,
where common action can be mutually beneficial.
Objectives (or interests, needs and expectations) should always be
expressed specifically, avoiding generalisations. For example, the worker
should not say to a parent that she wants what is best for the child. This
does not specify what the worker thinks is best (which is probably the nub
of the conflict) and, worse yet, it implies that the parent does not want
what is best for the child. Similarly, a worker who proclaims that 'the
child's welfare is paramount' will probably produce defensive parents who
believe that the worker thinks she has more of an interest in their child's
well-being than they do.
Having noted the pitfalls, let us now turn to the principles. The follow-
ing are some principles of negotiation from Fisher and Ury (1991) that lend
themselves to worhng with parents.
1. Participants are problem-solvers.
2. The goal is a wise outcome reached efficiently and amicably.
3. Separate the people from the problem.
4. Be soft on the people, hard on the problem.
5. Proceed independent of trust.
6. Focus on interests, not positions.
7. Explore interests.
8. Avoid having a bottom line.
9. Invent options for mutual gain.
10. Develop multiple options to choose from; decide later.
11. Insist on using objective criteria.
Working with children and families 73
12.Try to reach a result based on standards independent of will.
13. Reason and be open to reason; yield to principle, not pressure.
f particular interest here is the emphasis on negotiation as a creative
rocess. Fisher and Ury describe negotiation as a problem-solving process;
y suggest inventing options for mutual gain and developing multiple opt-
s. Creativity is not an attribute that tends to be emphasised in social-work
ining, but there is no doubt that the ability to find creative solutions to
ms is a major asset for a social worker.
other point of interest is the recommendation to proceed independent
f trust (principle 5). Social workers tend to believe that trust is paramount
nd nothing can be accomplished without it. Doubtless it is paramount and
it should always be aimed for. On the other hand, it is not always present
(in international negotiations it is almost never present) and it is quite pos-
sible to negotiate in good faith without waiting for a trusting relationship to
be established. Principle 12 suggests that agreements may be reached
about specifics if there is agreement about the broader principles (for
example standards) underlying the issue. This then makes the discussion
one of trying to reach agreement about how to operate on the basis of stan-
dards about which there is agreement. This may also de-personalise the
issue from an 'I want, you want' position, moving towards a 'we both want'.
bility to provide counselling, warmth, empathy, and understanding
There are other situations in which a counselling approach is required. The
provision of rapid support, advice and guidance when parents have just
received the news that their child has a disability ('early counselling') may
be a very useful way of helping them to cope. When parents have experi-
enced the loss of a child, a counselling approach is likely to be beneficial,
perhaps provided by a specialist counselling service. Marital counselling
may be provided by organisations such as Relate. You will be able to think
of many other situations where counselling is appropriate.
The third element of a growth-promoting relationship is empathic under-
standing. This relies on the ability of the worker to imagine what the client
may be experiencing, relating it to her own nearest experience to that of the
client. Empathy also draws on the ability of the worker to be an active lis-
tener. This means fully hearing what the client has to say, relaying what
one has heard back to the client for clarification and confirmation, and not
jumping in prematurely with answers and solutions. Empathy can be a sus-
pect concept from the point of view of the client, on the grounds that 'you
can't know what it's like until you've been there1.For example, workers are
frequently asked by parents, 'Do you have children? The implication here
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74 An introduction to working with children
is that, if you don't, you have no right to be telling me how to bring up
mine. Workers should not become defensive - it is not a sin to have no
children - and the question, anyway, might provide a good lead in to having
the client tell you how she brings up children.
Ability to tolerate people's pain and anger
Responding to another's pain and sadness is not easy. There is sometimes a
tendency to do anything to get away from the experience: bring the inter-
view to an end; suggest a cup of tea; change the subject; heartily tell the
client not to dwell on it. Another temptation is to try to 'hit1:suggest
things the client might do; promise to do something yourself. The most dif-
ficult thing to do is to sit in silence while the client cries. Allowing a client
to feel what she is feeling without trying to move her on to something else
is a very important skill. You must be able to contain your own pain in order
to allow your client to experience hers.
Loss of a child is a particular example. People who have experienced
such a tragedy may well find that others around them are ready to move on
long before they themselves are ready. Even those friends who were most
supportive during the weeks following the loss may reach a stage after sev-
eral months when they are no longer comfortable hearing the person talk
about the lost child. 'It's time to move on with your life,' they say bracingly,
and it is most important that the worker does not convey, implicitly or
explicitly, the same thing. The clients themselves are the only judges of
when it is time to move on.
Coping with a client's anger is also a difficult task. Despite their best
intentions, social workers do things that malce people angry. It is no use
thinking that because a difficult decision was justified and the justification
was explained to the client, the client will not be angry. A decision to
remove a child, for example, even when made and explained with the
utmost care, sensitivity and fairness, is likely to malce the parent extremely
angry. As with pain and sadness, the best approach is to allow the parent to
experience her anger. However, there is a world of difference between
anger and aggression. Physical and verbal threats and menacing behaviour
should not be tolerated and, as previously discussed, the worker must be
aware of any risk to her personal safety.
Ability to work effectively with and in groups
It is important to feel confident about working in groups and with other
professionals. Most child-care social work is delivered by social workers
operating in teams. These teams may be more or less specialised, but they
work. During the last quarter of a century, there has been a much greater
phasis on worhng together with other professionals in a range of chil-
en's services. Teamwork is no longer the exclusive prerogative of child
otection (if indeed it ever was) and many of the decisions to be made will
e undertaken by a group of professionals coming together to develop a
oordinated plan. These professionals may come from different agencies
nd represent several different disciplines.
A good example of this kind of inter-agency and multi-disciplinary work-
g is the case conference. Case conferences to consider the situation of all
ildren who are at risk of abuse were recommended by the report into the
death of Maria Colwell (Department of Health and Social Security, 1974).
In the case of Maria Colwell, it seems that there were a number of profes-
sionals who each held a different piece of information about the situation,
but no-one understood the situation in its entirety because there was no
mechanism for putting the pieces together. The case conference consti-
tutes the required mechanism, and its purpose is to make mutual decisions
about what should be done next, to ensure the welfare of the child. This is
not as easy as it sounds. Consider two of the barriers.
First, meetings involving a number of professionals are expensive. The
time spent needs to be justified, and therefore the purpose of the meeting
must be clear. It is generally accepted that case conferences - and commit-
tees in general - should coordinate work, not undertake work. Much of the
work (for example, risk assessment, locating a foster home) needs to be
done outside the committee, and the role of the committee is primarily to
decide which tasks need to be undertaken, to allocate those tasks, to moni-
tor progress on the tasks, and to ensure that new plans are made when the
tasks are either not being achieved, or are unachievable.
Secondly, professionals have different backgrounds and approach issues
in different ways. The most conspicuous example of this is the difference
between the social and medical models of disability or illness. A physician
treating a child with diabetes, for example, is treating the diabetes and does
so by prescribing diet and medication. A social worker, working with the
same child, is treating the whole child in the context of her family and may
be more concerned with the effect of the diabetes on the child's and the
family's life. Both of these perspectives are quite legitimate and, if the
social worker and physician can respect each other's views, their coopera-
tion will be fruitful. Perhaps the social worker can persuade the child to
follow the diet when her friends are eating sweets; perhaps, on the social
worker's advice, the physician can modify the insulin injection regime to fit
more conveniently with the child's routine. If, on the other hand, the social
worker believes that all physicians are only interested in diseases, not in
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76 An introductionto working with children
people, and the physician believes that social work is a waste of time, it is
the child and family who will suffer from the conflict.
Another area of conflict can arise from the different perspectives of soci
workers and the police. In a situation of alleged sexual abuse, for examp
the police focus is to gather evidence that may be used in laying crimina
charges. The social worker's focus is to protect the child. It is very difficul
to achieve both ends at the same time (in a joint investigative interview,
example, involving both the social worker and the police) and the result m
well be mutual recriminations, with both parties feeling that the other has
intruded on their turf and prevented them from carrying out their function
Turf and territory tend to be important considerations for professiona
Psychologists might argue that only they have the skills and training
administer and interpret pencil-and-paper measuring instruments (to in
sure such things as marital satisfaction, for example). Nurses and social oup work with abusers, to mobilise peer pressure to aclmowledge
workers might both argue that it is only they who ought to be doing dis-
charge planning for patients coming out of hospital. oups for parents of children with a learning disability;
Terminology is another bone of contention. Social workers might say
that the word 'patient' is disrespectful, implylng that the person is an object roups for children who have been sexually abused;
with no control over his or her own life or treatment (and that medical staff roups in family centres, for a wide range of practical activities;
use that word because they do, in fact, see people that way). Physicians groups for victims of domestic violence to share their experiences;
might counter that the word 'client' is hypocritical. 'Clients' in the world of groups for parents of teenagers; g
commerce are people who pay for services, and social workers' 'clients',
who often do not pay, are not clients at all but rather consumers of ser-
vices. A social worker's real 'client', is the funding body or the taxpayer, and ne of the main purposes of the more therapeutically oriented groups is to
(our hypothetical physician might say) social workers would do well to reak down the isolation that people often feel. For the sexually abused
remember that.
What is to be done about all this? How do we remove the barriers of felt that she is alone in this terrible experience, it is often astounding to
jealousy, resentment and misunderstanding so that professionals from dif- find that others have been coping with similar experiences, and remarkably,
ferent disciplines can work together in ways that are beneficial to children ve been experiencing similar consequences. Another positive impact
and families?
Education is one way. First, students who are being taught within their pened to them (for example, being abused, losing a child), begin to
discipline should be taught the functions and perspectives of other disci- ise that they have something to offer others who are in a similar situa-
plines in a manner that allows them to respect and understand what other tion. They begin to find a capacity for growth, and their self-esteem is
people do. Next comes joint training. Professional development training in enhanced when others respond positively to their experience and perhaps
sexual-abuse investigations, for example, might include both social workers
and police officers. So might training in how to handle situations of doines- Of course, any group situation can also have negative aspects: faction
tic violence. Training in the medical examination of a woman who has just formation, scapegoating, groupthink, domination by some group members,
been sexually assaulted might include physicians, social workers and the and dismissal of the opinions of others. The group facilitator must watch
police. Through joint training, professionals can learn each other's perspec- for these and use the most appropriate means to ensure that the group
tives, goals and problems. If they work together after the training, and if process is one of empowerment, not one of compounding the disempower-
they are given time to debrief and discuss, they might even grow to like and ment its members may already have experienced.
respect one another.
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We will leave the discussion at this point and move on to talk about the Andrew is 5 years old. His concentration is very poor and at school
distinction between prevention and protection. In this chapter, we have temper tantrums are so severe that the school is considering exclu-
looked at the slulls needed to work with children and families. In the next n. His older sister no longer enjoys playing with him, and his parents
chapter, we will consider prevention and family support. e finding it difficult to deal with his behaviour.
Case examples se example 3.2 Overcomingbarriersto working with families
Case example 3.1 Helpingtroubled children
follows a number of scenarios in which parents may experience diffi-
in worlng with social workers. Consider what those barriers might
There follows a number of scenarios in which children may experience and how they might be addressed in work with the family.
adjustment or personal difficulties. For each of them, consider the following:
1) Mary is 17 and has a child, Paul, aged 18 months. She is a single
1. What emotional difficulties might the child be experiencing? ent, and is still under a care order, which will lapse when she is 18
2. How might the child, directly or indirectly, be helped? rs old. She has been provided with housing through a supported
3. Are there any particular means of communicating with the child, or sing scheme, and she has found the support provided very helpful.
methods of working that might suggest themselves in this particular ently there has been concern about her care of the child, and her
situation? ocial worker is calling around to see her.
(1) Paul is 6, and is the youngest of three children. His mother and (2) Mr and Mrs Anthony are a West Indian couple living in a London
father have just separated, several months previously. It is an acrimo- borough. Mr Anthony recently used a belt on his 13-year-old son for
nious parting, and Paul has not seen his father since the separation. 'cheelung' him. The school reported the welts, and a social worker, who
is white, is calling around to meet with Mr and Mrs Anthony to discuss
(2) Kylie is 12, and is the oldest of three children. Her father comes e incident. Mr Anthony does noti understand what the fuss is about; he
home regularly in a drunken condition, and frequently (at least once a experienced the same type of di&ipline when he was growing up in the
month or so) assaults her mother. Her mother has considered moving,
but feels afraid to do so.
(3) Anne (23) is a single mother, living next door to her own mother in
(3) Richard, who is West Indian, is 8. He has been fostered, on his own, an English village. She has been in an escalating cycle of drug usage, and
with a white family for two years, in an area where there are veiy few is now regularly injecting. She is involved in prostitution to support her
other black children. It has always been planned that he should move, drug habit. Whenever she takes the drugs, she ensures that her son Dean
and now it is suggested that he should go to live with a black family in a (3 years, 6 months) is with her mother next door. Her mother doesn't
more culturally diverse neighbourhood. approve, but is glad that she has enough control of the situation to leave
(4) June (7) finds it difficult to make friends at school. Her father left her son there; but she is uncertain whether the drug usage will remain
under control. The health visitor has referred Dean to social services.home when she was 3 years old, and she has regular contact with him.-
Since last September, she has complained most mornings of stomach (4) Megan (38) and her husband have a child (Sian, aged 2) with
ache so severe that she does not feel she can go to school. On the few Down's Syndrome. The health visitor has referred them to the social ser-
occasions when her mother has kept her home the stomach pains have vices for respite care, as Megan is occasionallyvery tearful, and generally
apparently subsided in a few hours. is very tired and run down. Both Megan and her husband are Welsh
spealng; the social worker calling to see them doesn't speak Welsh. He
(5) Michael (11) has just transferred from a very small rural primary
is going to be discussing the provision of respite care, and other possible
school to an urban secondary school because his family relocated. Over
services that might help Megan and her husband.
the course of his first term in secondary school, a gang of boys have been
intimidating Michael, and taking his lunch money off him. He has been (5) Mrs Ali has left her husband with her three children aged 3, 5 and 7
afraid to tell anyone about it. to go into a refuge, following his continued violence towards her over the
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80 An introductionto working with children
last five years. Her command of English is very limited, and most of
her dealings with people are undertaken through her oldest child. The
workers at the refuge are concerned about the impact of the domestic
violence on the children and wish to discuss this with Mrs Ali.
Case example 3.3 Working across professionaland disciplinary
boundaries
Mrs Jones is 25 and has a six-week-oldbaby boy. He is her first child. She
lives with her husband. They live in Grangetown, Cardiff, in a modest,
privately-owned, small terraced house. The health visitor has been to see
her and using the Edinburgh Post-Natal Scale considers that she is at high
risk of post-natal depression; the Health Visitor has shared her concern
with the GP to whose practice she is attached. The GP feels that the
Health Visitor should strongly advocate medication, which he would then
prescribe. The Health Visitor believes that there is time to explore the
benefit of post-natal support networks and weekly support visits from her-
self before embarking on chemical treatment.
1. How might the different professional backgrounds influence their per-
ceptions as to the causes and remedies of post-natal depression?
2. How might their different roles influence their perception of the diffi-
culties associated with becoming a parent?
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