Running head: PEER REVIEW 1
Peer Review
This paper is about a father’s responsibilities in his child’s social development and the
importance of a father figure in a child’s life. The author wrote a very nice research article about
the topic, which I was interested in reading about. A key strength in this paper was the use of
multiple sources which were used in the research and writing of this paper. These were used to
enforce the points of importance, as well as address the relevance of this topic to daily life.
Although the majority of the paper was very well written I would like to suggest that the tone of
voice is reconsidered in some portions of the writing, where it may become too casual for the
situation.
The key strength that I found in this paper was the use of extensive research, outside of
what was actually required for this assignment. We were only required to use two outside
research articles, in addition to two articles assigned to the class, but the author chose to use six
articles in her paper. This is helpful to the reader because it makes the information seem more
credible, and the writer to seem as if they are well versed in all areas of their topic. The author
chose to go over and beyond in the area of research and I feel that this was very beneficial to the
reader’s understanding of the importance of her topic.
The weakness that I would like for the author to consider is her tone of voice, which
became too casual in parts of the writing. This stuck out to me primarily on page three of the
manuscript, when talking about fathers who are unaware of their parental responsibilities. I wrote
“a bit confusing” in the margin near a section on this page. I feel that this section provides useful
information to the reader but try to rephrase this sentence, as it runs on and becomes confusing.
The second suggestion that I would have about this paper is to decrease the number of
generalizations that are used in the text. Phrases such as “especially underclass fathers” on page
PEER REVIEW 2
three, and “it is obvious that they have responsibilities as fathers and that these responsibilities
may have consequences which may become apparent in their children” on page five, are too
general for the information that you are trying to provide for the reader. In order to correct this
issue, I would suggest that you remove the beginning of the statement, “it is obvious”, because
someone who has not done extensive research (as you have) may not feel that it is an obvious
conclusion.
Overall I feel that the author did a very good job with her manuscript assignment, and I
felt that all requirements were addressed. If she is able to make the suggested changes, which are
associated problems with tone, she will have a very strong research paper about the effect of the
father-child relationship on a child’s development.