Once is Not Enough
Joni Alberg, BEGINNINGS For Parents of Children
Who Are Deaf or Hard of Hearing, Inc.
Mandy McClellan, AR Hands & Voices/Parent
Djenne-amal Morris, BEGINNINGS For Parents of Children
Who Are Deaf or Hard of Hearing, Inc./Parent
© BEGINNINGS 2010
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“The key to a successful
integration of hearing loss into
a family is the degree to which
parents are able to integrate
hearing loss into their lives.”
(D. Luterman, 2006)
© BEGINNINGS 2010
“Spend at least as
much time listening
as you spend
talking.”
(J. L. Yanz, 2006)
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% Retention
% remembered correctly
% recollection
(Yanz, 2006)
In medical consultations…
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50
50
25
Emotional
Support
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A child’s success is
independent of the degree
of hearing loss….parental
attitude and involvement
are the determining
factors in how well a child
will do.
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Shock
“All they
told me is
my baby
can’t hear.”
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Shock “Checklist”
• What did the audiologist tell
you?
• What steps have you taken
to get help?
• How do you feel about your
child’s hearing loss?
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Denial
“I don’t mean to be
rude, but why are you
here and who sent
you?”
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Denial “Checklist”
• What can you tell me about
your child’s hearing loss?
• How do you feel about the
different professionals who are
helping you and your child?
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Guilt
“I know this happened
because I sanded the
floors while my wife was
pregnant.”
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Guilt Checklist
• Do you blame yourself for your
child’s hearing loss?
• Do you feel you are being punished
for doing something wrong or being a
bad person?
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Anger
Desire to blame someone,
anyone else.
Anger at what we must do
to overcome the “loss.”
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Anger “Checklist”
• Have you been losing your temper with
your child, spouse, professionals or anyone
who tries to help?
• Do you often find yourself in conflict with
others?
• Are you punishing your child more than you
think is normal?
• Do you experience more problems with
your relationships since you learned that
your child is deaf or hard of hearing? © BEGINNINGS 2010
Overwhelmed by
anguish, pain and
hurt of loss.
Anxiety © BEGINNINGS 2010
Anxiety “Checklist”
•Are you losing sleep worrying about the future
for you and your child?
•Are you usually dissatisfied with the
performance of your child’s teachers or
therapists?
• Do you set goals for your child that put
unusual pressure on both of you?
•Are you unable to enjoy activities that have
nothing to do with your child?
© BEGINNINGS 2010
Depression “Checklist”
• Are you experiencing a feeling of
hopelessness?
• Have you been avoiding simple duties?
• Do you find yourself withdrawing?
• Do you feel alone even with family and
friends?
•Do you catch yourself daydreaming when you
are supposed to be working on a task?
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Acceptance
Rational Thinking
Appropriate Emotional Responses
Patience
Self Confidence
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Acceptance “Checklist”
• Have you stopped blaming yourself?
• Have you worked through the stages of
grief?
• Are you ready to work with professionals
who want to help your child?
• Are you ready to be the manager of the
team?
• Do you feel a sense of hope for the future?
© BEGINNINGS 2010
Constructive Action
• Allows you to put things into perspective.
• Allows you to identify what is most
important for you and your family.
• Allows you to form new relationships with
professionals who serve your family, other
families of children who are deaf or hard
of hearing.
• Allows you to move forward with purpose!
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Men and
Women
ARE
Different!
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He She
Visible evidence unlikely.
No expression of
feelings.
Will engage in
intellectual problem
solving.
Need for privacy &
solitude.
Tears likely.
Need to communicate.
Ongoing need for
social support.
Focus & investment in
the past.
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The lack of follow through
on the part of a
patient/client does not
necessarily mean they
don’t care.
© BEGINNINGS 2010
ReferencesA Few Resources…
BEGINNINGS For Parents of Children Who Are Deaf or Hard of Hearing,
Inc. (2010 Revised) Understanding Your Child’s Hearing Loss: A Parent
Guide. Raleigh, NC (available in English & Spanish)
Families, Professionals, and Exceptionality: Positive Outcomes Through
Partnerships and Trust. By A. Turnbull, R. Turnbull, E. J. Erwin, L. C. Soodak, and
K. A. Shogren (6th Edition, 2010). Pearson Education. Upper Saddle River, NJ.
The Impact of Childhood Disability: The Parent's Struggle. by Ken Moses,
Ph.D. http://www.pediatricservices.com/prof/prof-15.htm
May, James. Loss and Grief: The Paradox of Pain (1992).
Http://www.fathersnetwork.org/652.html?page=652&SESSION=9ac7e4494847673e
cbc3aeea2335bb71&s=0
Children with Hearing Loss : A Family Guide. David Luterman (Editor) , (2006).
Auricle Ink Publisher. Sedona, AZ.
dmorris@ncbegin.org
jalberg@ncbegin.org
mandy@mcclellandesigns.com
For Copies of this Presentation
© BEGINNINGS 2010