Parent-teacher meetings can be a scary moment not only for the parents and children but also for the teachers, especially new ones. That is not surprising if we think about the fact that the teacher stands alone in front of all the parents and must defend her/his work and what s/he tries to achieve with their children – the pupils.

Parents

- a group of people who can support us or make our job pretty uncomfortable. All of us should try to create conditions for the best possible education of children/pupils. This idea should not stay just in your head but should be shared with the parents because, for many, it can be one of those "aha moments" when they realise that the person standing in front of them is not their enemy.

Parents and teachers should be allies, and both should avoid sabotaging pupils’ lives at school and their education.

Parent-teacher meetings can be classified based on their focus but the basic procedure should be the same:

• Think over the purpose of the meeting beforehand
• Write down the key points you do not want to forget
• Remember to ask the views and needs of the parents
• Write a summary of the meeting you will send to parents, e.g., by email or the school informational system.
• If you are dealing with any problem or you do not feel confident in front of so many parents – ask a senior colleague or the SCC staff to be present at the meeting

Informational meeting – at the beginning of the school year

Before the parent-teacher meeting, write down the key points you want to share with the parents concerning yourself, the education, and your teaching style (what you insist on, homework etc.). That will allow you to reflect on certain areas of your work as well as making you more confident in front of a group of parents. At the same time, keep in mind that you are only human and can afford not to know some of the answers. If you are brave enough, you can even say that to the parents (some of them will get the wind knocked out of their sails).

Personal attitude

• Be natural and reasonably self-confident – you are the expert on the educational process. Believe in yourself and your abilities and experience.
• You are only human – perceive mistakes as something that can make you grow.
• Do not be afraid to admit mistakes/not knowing something.
• Set clear boundaries for communication – your working hours.
• Do not be afraid to say no or bring up uncomfortable subjects. You will protect yourself and your pupils this way.

Educational process

• Ask the parents what they consider to be the best possible result of your work together in the education of their children.
• Share your teaching style with the parents – you are the expert.
• Ask them what their idea is and seek a consensus on the issues you are open to discussing.
• Make the parents familiar with problem-solving procedures in the class.
• Summarise your goals and the common goals of educators and parents.

Cooperating with parents

• Let them feel like experts on their children and make clear that you are the person who accompanies their children through the educational process in which you are the expert.
• Establish a system of dealing with complaints about education etc. If parents do not like something, they should say it in a direct and mature way in order to avoid slander and gossip. “There are two sides to every story".
• Try to keep in touch with parents more often than once every couple of months at parent-teacher meetings. Send them their children’s creations, daily evaluations, create space for less formal gatherings. Many parents often feel that a school is an inaccessible place where something “forbidden” that they have no control over may be happening. Sharing information with them helps break the walls and connect their lives with the life of the school.

Tripartite meetings – Evaluation and dealing with problems

This type of meeting offers several advantages – no one has superiority, and it also allows pupils to influence the educational process. The tripartite meeting should be based on a partner-like approach, even if you have to deal with problems.

If you are dealing with problems, a parent may turn into a beast protecting its young one at all costs. Do not counterattack immediately and try to understand this protective behaviour. Let them blow off some steam. Act like a stuck vinyl repeating over and over that your goal is to find a solution that works in favour of all but will also lead to understanding the consequences of a particular behaviour, insufficient preparation for classes etc.

• Before the meeting, write down what the purpose is.
• Prepare refreshments – you do not have to bake a cake, but water and a few biscuits have never offended anyone.
• Brief attenders on the course of the meeting and its main points.
• Ask the parents and the pupil what they imagine a reasonable conclusion of such a meeting should be.
• Discuss the situation/problem.
• Together, try to find a solution that works in favour of all. (Sometimes, it is not possible, of course. But we can try to listen to all sides and choose the measure accordingly.)
• It is good to make notes – make a summary and share it with the parents.
• If you are dealing with a difficult problem/situation, it is recommended to have another school representative (School psychologist, Educational counsellor, Another teacher) witness the meeting.