Postgraduate Resources study & L earning Academic Writing Centre #RMIT UMlVFRSITV Table of Contents Introduction Writing Structure Macro level—Structure Middle level—Paragraphs -unity -development -cohesion Micro level—Sentences -academic style -sentence structures -using sources (in text referencing) Tips—How to develop as a writer Alison Brown, SLC 1 Postgraduate Resources Academic Writing Introduction Postgraduate writing should demonstrate: • a clear understanding of subject matter • an ability to analyse and evaluate information for relevance, accuracy and authority • a logical, flowing structure Be aware that: • writing and THINKING are integrally connected. You can't write well if you don't have enough ideas and information about what you want to say. • much of the writing process is RE-WRITING. You will need to draft and revise your work several times until you achieve an appropriate structure and level of clarity. To develop your writing you need to: • Become familiar with the discourses of your discipline Different areas of study have different discourses (types of writing structures and language use). For example, engineers write very differently from social scientists. You need to: O look for and pay attention to the types of writing in your field O build your vocabulary and use of the specific terminology of your discipline. • Be responsible to your reader (audience) You are not writing only for your lecturer. Your audience is an educated reader who does not know your specific topic area. You need to guide them clearly and directly through the points that you are making. This is done through: O having a clear structure O making explicit links between the ideas you present Writing Structure You may be required to write in several genres: thesis, essay, report, case study or a combination of these. All academic writing tasks have something in common - three levels of structure. 1. macro structure (type of text, and its major subdivisions) 2. middle level paragraph development 3. micro-level sentence structure and style choices 1. MACRO-LEVEL • Type of text • Structure of text e.g. chapters, sections, sub-sections 2. MIDDLE-LEVEL • paragraphs - unity - cohesion - adequate development (enough 3. MICRO-LEVEL information) • • sentence structure academic style | Alison Brown, SLC 2 In some macro-structures (such as a scientific thesis) the main sections are fairly set; in others (such as many styles of report) some sections are set but much of the organisation is open. You create your own structure with headings and subheadings. In a traditional essay you map out connected sets of paragraphs. Link to essay writing and writing reports Look at the three sample structures in the table - remember these are only possibilities. Thesis - scientific structure Report (or thesis) structure Essay (traditional) structure) Abstract Summary Introduction Acknowledgements List of Figures Brief location of topic List of figures List of Abbreviations Areas to be covered Glossary 1.0 INTRODUCTION Thesis statement: 1.0 Introduction 1.1 THE EXISTING SITE English will not become the dominant world 1.1 Aim 1.2 PROJECT OUTLINE language 1.2 Participants 1.3 Research questions 2.0 Literature review 2.0 SUSTAINABLE DEVELOPMENT STRATEGIES 2.1 ENERGY CONSERVATION Body Point by point development of argument 2.1 2.1.1 Passive solar design — widespread use of English in official 2.2 etc 2.1.2 Insulation organisations/ science/technology 3.0 Methodology 2.1.3 Vegetation — rapid spread of English in cultural 4.0 Results 2.1.4 Solar power domain 5.0 Discussion 2.2 WATER CONSERVATION BUT 6.0 Conclusion 2.2.1 Rainwater collection - English speakers vastly outnumbered 7.0 Recommendations 2.2.2 Irrigation systems by speakers of other languages 8.0 References — Backlash against American culture 3.0 DEMOLITON AND CONSTRUCTION - Possible new technology to arise out 3.1 RECYCLING MATERIALS etc. 4.0 CONCLUSION of NES country 5.0 RECOMMENDATIONS Conclusion 6.0 REFERENCES Summary of arguments 6.0 APPENDICES Return to thesis Organisation within the broad structure You will need to brainstorm and map out the topics, arguments and examples you need to cover within the broader structure. This is a messy, creative phase as you move between your topic area, your readings and your early plan. But it is a crucial THINKING phase. Once you have an idea of structure the writing can "fall into place". Some common patterns of organisation include: • chronological - development by time order • This can be useful for describing scientific processes or the development of a concept. • logical division of ideas - e.g. big picture to detail, supporting and opposing arguments • order of importance Example Here are two possible plans for the body of an essay on the following topic. Topic: Globalisation is a threat to the sovereignty of states. Discuss, using one or two countries as examples. (Assume you have already defined the term globalisation in the introduction). Structural Plan 1 Structural Plan 2 Country A i. globalisation threat 1 ii. globalisation threat 2 iii. globalisation threat 3 Country B i. globalisation threat 1 ii. globalisation threat 2 iii. globalisation threat 3 iv. globalisation threat 4 c) similarities between countries A & B d) differences between countries A & B e) under what conditions is globalisation a threat to the sovereignty of nations a) How globalisation threatens countries: i. Threat 1: what is it? - example using country A &/or B ii. Threat #2: what is it? example using country A &/or B iii. Threat #3: what is it? example using country A &/or B b) Is globalisation a threat to the sovereignty of states overall? What significant differences can be found between countries A & B? Can we give reasons for these differences? Middle Level Structure - paragraphs Within the sections and sub-sections of your writing task, paragraphs form the next layer of structure. A paragraph has three important features: • unity • development • cohesion Unity A paragraph should contain one main idea or claim, expressed in a topic sentence, often the first sentence. The paragraph should have a logical structure so that all the sentences are connected and flow from the central theme. There are many types of paragraph structure. This is problem-solution. Alison Brown, SLC 4 Topic sentence (expressing the "problem") —► Expansion of point-► Evidence/support -► Solution -► The emphasis of the criminal justice system has until recently been on the battle between the offender/ defendant and the state/prosecutor and not the actual harm experienced by the victim. In Fact victims have had minimal participation in the criminal justice process; their role being primarily to provide information to the state prosecutor with no involvement in prosecution and sentencing. McShane and Williams (1992, p. 260) contend that "victim neglect is not simply a result of indifference, it is a logical extension of a legal system which defines crime as an offence against the state". They argue that this neglect can be remedied by training of personnel within the criminal justice system and through victim support services. Development A paragraph has to have enough information in it to justify being a paragraph! It should consist of a main point that is then further elaborated on. Some possible development models include: • expansion - the point is further defined or broken down and analysed or reframed for clarification. • illustration - examples or scenarios are given • evidence - research-based or sometimes experience-based support for the point • application - how this can then operate in practice There may also be a sentence which comments on the material or relates the expanded point back to main topic of that section of the writing. Learner anxiety in the classroom Topic sentence-main idea Expansion of point( italic) Comment The research on anxiety suggests that like self-esteem, anxiety can be experienced at various levels (Oxford 1999). At the deepest or global level, trait anxiety is a more permanent predisposition to be anxious. Some people are predictably and generally anxious about many things. At a more momentary, or situational level, state anxiety is experienced in relation to some particular event or act. As we learned in the case of self-esteem, then, it is important in a classroom for a teacher to try to determine whether a student's anxiety stems from a more global trait or whether it comes from a particular situation at the moment. Source: Brown, H.D (2000) Principles of teaching and learning. 4th Ed. NY: Addison Wesley Longman Alison Brown, SLC 5 Workshop Activity 2—different paragraph structures Cohesion within paragraphs Text cohesion is the way the writing holds together, to make sense. Each sentence should relate to the other sentences in the paragraph. A number of cohesive devices assist in creating text cohesion. • key words (or synonyms) repeated • pronouns (it, she, they) referring to a person or thing already mentioned • reference words (that, this) which link related ideas, e.g. one such experiment; in this way; these • general class words - (these characteristics, this process) • conjunctions and sentence connectors (but, however, furthermore, yet) • sign-posts to emphasise the relationships expressed (on the other hand; in contrast; in addition; moreover; first, second..) • parallel structures (using a repeated grammatical form) In the following paragraph the sentences are all about mummification but they jump all over the place. There is no overall paragraph plan and they jump all over the place. The ancient Egyptians were masters of preserving dead people's bodies by making mummies of them. Mummies several thousand years old have been discovered nearly intact. The skin, hair, teeth, finger- and toenails, and facial features of the mummies were evident. It is possible to diagnose the diseases they suffered in life such as smallpox, arthritis, and nutritional deficiencies. The process was remarkably effective. Sometimes apparent were the fatal afflictions of the dead people: a middle-aged king died from a blow on the head, and polio killed a child king. Mummification consisted of removing the internal organs, applying natural preservatives inside and out, and then wrapping the body in layers of bandages. Here is the same paragraph revised with a plan (from general to specific )and clearer links to help the reader The ancient Egyptians were masters of preserving dead people's bodies by making mummies of them. The process of mummification consisted of removing the internal organs, applying natural preservatives inside and out, and then wrapping the body in layers of bandages. It was a remarkably effective practice.\\nóeeó,\mummies several thousand years old have been discovered nearly intact. TheirsWm, hair, teeth, fingers and toenails, and facial features of the mummies are still jvident. Their diseases in life, such as Topic sentence is bold Words in italics - nouns repeated and then pronouns Boxed words: links between sentences Underlined words: Parallel grammatical form for parallel content smallpox, arthritis, and nutritional deficiencies, are still diaqnosable.lEvenlř/7e/'r fatal afflictions are still apparent: a middle-aqed kinq died from a blow on the head: a child king died from polio. Adapted from: Fowler, Aaron & Anderson (2001) The little brown handbook, New York: Addison Wesley (pp. 81-2) Alison Brown, SLC 6 Cohesion across paragraphs There should also be cohesive links between the paragraphs. These alert the reader to the relationships between the points you present. The following series of paragraphs uses a basic list structure (a writing equivalent of 1,2,3...) This structure is very useful for grouping sections of text that develop a set of points. These paragraphs may then be set off against other sections of text (as in comparison). Billing bytes received does have some flaws. First, many network protocols send acknowledgments from the destination to the source, resulting in users who offer services to the network receiving bytes of data from the network that they did not request. Fortunately, acknowledgment packets are usually quite small. These bytes could be ignored, however, by network devices that can compute the total number of acknowledgments seen. Also, the organization that computes the bills can recognize the users who offer services to the network and possibly offer then a discount on their bills. Another problem with billing based on bytes received is that unsolicited network data, such as electronic mail, adds to the user's bill. This flaw can perhaps be overlooked because many users send and receive mail on the same order of magnitude. This might not be the case, however, when a user is on the mailing list and receives many mail messages. In this situation, the user is on the mailing list for a reason and their bill should reflect the receipt of this data as a result of this network service. Still another possible imperfection in this billing method arises from each user receiving data from the network as the organization monitors it for management reasons, as illustrated in Fig. 6.5.... However, Topic sentences in bold Problem 1 (flaws) Text markers and reference words are in italics. These words orient the reader through the text, clarifying the topic focus at each stage Problem 2(problem) The subject repeated in a full but slightly altered form is in a box Problem 3 (imperfection) The subject repeated but with a general word 'method' is in a box Source: Leinwand, A., & Fang, K. (1996). Network Management: a practical perspective, Reading, Mass.: Addison Wesley (p. 102) Workshop Activity 3—Rewriting for greater cohesion 3. Micro-level - sources, sentences and academic style Every sentence in your writing should be included for a specific reason and should connect with the sentences around it and the overall topic. Each sentence should make logical and grammatical sense and be expressed in an appropriately academic style. Some aspects of academic style you need to be aware of include: Degrees of certainty There is rarely absolute proof of an event or a direct causal relationship between phenomena. There are more often correlations and links. This means that tentative language (such as tends to, indicates that, suggests that, the majority of) is often appropriate. For example: This tends to occur whenever there is a downturn in commodity prices. However when you know something always happens and you can be confident it will happen the same way in the future you should not be tentative. This occurs whenever there is a downturn in commodity prices. Third person voice (unless the personal aspect is an important part of the work) The third person voice (it, they, he, she, the authors, rsearchers) distances the self from the work and appears more Alison Brown, SLC 7 objective than the first person I, we or second person you. Third person. Vocabulary choice evidently plays a role in determining which topics are taken up by speakers. First person I found that the vocabulary choice played a role in determining which topics speakers take up. However, in some types of writing (such as reflective journal writing and creative arts exegeses) the first person is used to reflect the personal, subjective, process-based, exploratory nature of the study or project. You may need to negotiate this aspect with your lecturers. Contractions (shortened forms) Use the full forms of words, e.g. do not instead of don't; cannot instead of can't; it is instead of it's. For example: Unemployment figures will not improve until the economy is stronger. Contractions are acceptable if you are quoting from transcripts, personal journals or diaries or as part of a highly personal thesis style. Nominalisation (noun forms) Academic writing usually has more noun structures than verb structures. These noun forms are useful in condensing text and when the focus is on conditions or results rather than actions. However, too much nominalisation can make the writing very dense and difficult to read. For example: Heavily nominalised (noun forms underlined) The company's original conclusion that the establishment of increased flexibility in attendance hours has resulted in a decrease in absenteeism, was endorsed in the most recent analysis. Rewritten for greater clarity (verb forms underlined) In a recent analysis the company confirmed its earlier conclusion that greater flexibility in attendance hours for workers reduces absentee rates. Passive and active voice The passive voice emphasises the action over the person doing the action (the actor). It is a very useful technique when the actor is not important to the event. For example. Active My classmates and I measured the refractive index of the liquid. Passive The refractive index of the liquid was measured. However, the passive voice (particularly in conjunction with nominalization) can contribute to writing sounding very formal and losing clarity. Passive Agreement as to the need for revisions in the terms of the treaty was reached by the two sides. Active (and part passive) The two sides agreed that the terms of the treaty should be revised. Alison Brown, SLC 8 Direct questions In general your writing should restrict direct questions to: • your specific research questions (thesis, exegesis, a research paper, project, report, reflective journal) • an emphasis of the relationship between aspects of your writing Example: Natural resource management So how can the desire for environmental protection and the equally, if not more, potent desire for economic development be resolved? This is where theorists tend to contradict one another.....Smith (2003) recommends that.....while Jones (2004) believes that without ....any resolution is unlikely. This question is called a rhetorical question. It is used to engage the reader in a kind of 'conversation'. It is a question that has strong reflexive powers, since it is the person who asks the question who then attempts to answer. Formal forms of quantity with positive verbs No The analysis yielded no new results (more formal) The analysis did not yield any new results Little The recent budget allocated little funding to the program (more formal) The recent budget did not allocate much funding to the program Few There seem to be few viable solutions to this problem (more formal) There do not seem to be many viable solutions to this problem Note: few means 'hardly any '; a few means 'three or four' Much Much research has been conducted into global warming Many (these are more formal than "a lot of") Conciseness Try to use the most straightforward term and reduce unnecessary words. Here are some common "wordy" phrases that can be reduced into more concise forms. Wordy (or redundant) Concise in recent years recently with a high degree of certainty certain at this moment in time currently, now (not nowadays) in close proximity (to) close (to) advance planning planning (all planning is in advance) co-operate together co-operate (means together) few in number few crisis situation crisis (this is a situation) a great deal of much/many in order to to make adjustments adjust is reflective of reflects is capable of can Alison Brown, SLC 9 In text referencing (using sources) You will need to support the points you make with evidence and examples from other research. It is important to do this thoughtfully and carefully so you do not plagiarise. Look at the student paraphrased versions of Harden's idea, with evaluative comments. Original material: '...nurses can be viewed as an oppressed group, a view supported by the fact that nurses lack autonomy, accountability and control over their own profession. Yet nursing is by far the largest occupational group within the sphere of healthcare, so why is it so powerless? For me the history of the domination of nursing is inextricably linked to that of the domination and oppression of women.' Harden, J 1996, Enlightenment, empowerment and emancipation: the case for critical pedagogy in nurse education Student version 1: Nursing is by far the largest occupation group in healthcare. Yet, nurses can be seen as an oppressed group. This view is supported by the fact that nurses lack control over their own profession. They do not have autonomy or accountability. The history of the domination and oppression of women is the link to explaining the domination of nursing. The student has copied most of the original. There is no indication of where the student's voice ends and the cited writer's voice begins. There is no author or date (no reference). Therefore the text is plagiarised. Student version 2: Although nurses form the largest occupational group in the healthcare profession, they can be seen as an oppressed group. Harden (1996) states that the domination of nurses is inextricably linked to the historical oppression and domination of women in society. For nurses, she claims this oppression is illustrated by the extremely limited professional independence they have as seen by their lack of accountability and control over their profession. It is still not clear which ideas come from the reference and which from the student. Although the source has been acknowledged, many sections have been taken directly from the original, and should have been acknowledged as quotes. Moving a few words around or using a few synonyms does not make it your writing or your ideas. Therefore, this is also a plagiarized version. Student version 3: Despite nurses forming the largest group in the healthcare professions, Harden (1996) claims they can be categorised 'as an oppressed group' (p.33). She explains the domination of nurses as a reflection of the historical oppression and domination of women in society. For Harden (1996), this subservient role of nurses is illustrated by their 'lack of autonomy, accountability and control over their own profession' (p.33). Here the student has made much better use of the original. Some words have been paraphrased. Words taken directly from the original are clearly marked as quotes (note that they are only in italics in this example to show what has been quoted). Also, the source is clearly documented. Alison Brown, SLC 10 How to develop as a writer Read for structure and clarity. Improving your reading strategies and your judgement of writing quality will have an impact on your writing skills. Note how other writers: • present their main position • define key terms • structure headings and sub-headings • organise paragraphs • use visual support materials (charts, tables, illustrations) • link ideas (cohesive devices) • cite other sources as evidence or support for discussion and analysis Get started and write regularly • Don't put off writing - you need to leave plenty of time for thinking and revision. • Try to write something every day: notes, personal reflections, mind-maps. • Let your ideas flow freely at the start and then impose a structure upon them Write with awareness • Be clear: writing is a link between your own understanding and your ability to make others understand what you mean. • Use a simple, structured approach if you are not confident to test out new ground within the discipline. • If and when you break with tradition, make sure that you can justify this decision. Alison Brown, SLC 11 Study & L earning Centre •RMIT UNIVERSITY References Brown, H.D 2000, Principles of teaching and learning, 4th Ed. Addison Wesley Longman, New York Dyson, F. 1979, Disturbing the Universe, Harper & Row, New York. Fowler, H.R and Aaron, J.E. 2001, The little brown handbook, Longman, New York Gee, J. P 1992, The social mind: language, ideology and social practice, Bergin and Garvey, New York Harden, J. 1996, 'Enlightenment, empowerment and emancipation: the case for critical pedagogy in nurse education', in Nurse Educator Today, Vol.16, pp. 32-37 Leinwand, A. and Fang, K1993, Network management: a practical perspective, Addison-Wesley, Reading, MASS, p.102 O'Leary, M. and Meas. N. 2001, Learning for transformation: a study of the relationship between culture, values, experience and development practice in Cambodia Krom Akphiwat Phum, Battambang, Cambodia Alison Brown, SLC 12